Kate Heavey BA (Hons) FdSc BACP (Accredited) - Loss and grief counselling in Alfold, Cranleigh. Bereavement Zoom counselling near Chiddingfold.
When the Queen died in 2022, the phrase ‘grief is the price we pay for love’ became very popular and this is likely to be why you find yourself in this page; as you have loved wholeheartedly and are now experiencing grief wholeheartedly.
Reaons you may find yourself here....
The loss or bereavement could have been expected or it may have been a shock which has completely shattered your world.
Many factors will impact your mourning and grieving process such as age, who the person was to you, how attached you were (or not), religious beliefs, etc. If a death is involved, the way the person died can have a huge impact on your grieving process. Please know there is no 'right' or 'normal' way to experience grief and, as David Kessler states "each person's grief is as unique as their fingerprint" and I would add to this that it can feel like you are sitting with all the questions and none of the answers.
Feelings of loss can include:-
Sadness
Anger
Guilt
Anxiety
Loneliness
Fatigue
Numbness
Helplessness
Shock
Yearning / pining
Emancipation (feeling set free)
Relief
Shame.
Physical symptoms of loss can include:-
Hollowness in stomach
Tightness in chest / throat
Oversensitivity to noise
A sense of depersonalisation ('I walk down the street and nothing seems real, including me').
Breathlessness
Weakness in muscles
Lack of memory
Hallucinations
Dry mouth.
There can be a sense of denial....you know the person is not in your life anymore, or has died, yet you find it impossible to accept you will never see, touch or hear their voice again which can be extremely hard to come to terms with.
My role as a Loss and Bereavement Counsellor
Grief is the loss or death of something and it is a reflection of the connection you had, i.e. person, relationship, dream, job, etc.
Bereavement and loss has two components.....
1. The actual loss
2. The challenges caused by separation.
In our counselling together, we will incorporate both components as I offer a space for you to talk freely about what is happening for you. This space is without judgement, without being 'moved on' or told to 'get over it'. It is a space for you to re-tell your story as many times as you need. A place for your grief to be witnessed and all your feelings processed as I walk beside you on your journey.
Working through grief
Bereavement and loss can have 4 stages: -
Shock - the reality of your loss takes time to sink in.
Protest - you do not want your loss to be true and so ‘protest’ against it (many clients' that come into therapy are in this stage).
Disorganisation – Your loss starts to sink in as you feel despair (this is the low point in the process feeling like your world picture has shattered into a thousand pieces).
Reorganisation - You begin to rebuild life as you work through your loss. You accept that some pieces will go back into your world picture and other pieces will be need to be completely rebuilt as you build a life around your grief so it is not so debilitating.
Note: Grief is not a linear process. You could be at reorganisation, then a song comes on the radio, or there is an anniversary, and you feel like you have gone back to shock or protest. This would be a normal pattern of grief. What counselling offers longer term is for you to be able to process your grief quicker to get back to reorganisation; grief cannot be eradicated.
Contact
Contact from website
Please click here to contact me directly from this website.
Email Contact
Email harmoniouscounselling@gmail.com
I will email you back the same day if a working day. Please be rest assured emails are confidential and only seen by me.
Telephone Contact
Call 07941 305511
If I am unable to answer please leave a brief message informing me of your enquiry along with your name, telephone number and when it is a good time for me to call you back.
Please note:- If your number is not familiar to me, and you do not leave a message, I will not call you back as I am aware this could be dangerous without knowing your individual situation.
My answering machine is confidential and your message will only be listened to by me.
Text / WhatsApp Contact
Text 07941 305511 to make an appointment.
If I am in an appointment I may not be able to answer you straight away yet I will get back to you as soon as I am able to.
Not ready yet?
If you feel you are not quite ready to commit to an appointment please feel free to message me. I have been where you are now and I am happy to help with your transition.
Elisabeth Kubler-Ross states "the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths." Inspirational!
KATE HEAVEY BA (Hons) BACP (Accredited)
COUPLES COUNSELLING BILLINGSHURST, PETWORTH AND HORSHAM (WEST SUSSEX). INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING CRANLEIGH (SURREY). COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPY ONLINE. ONLINE THERAPIST. EXPAT THERAPIST. COUNSELLOR NEAR CHIDDINGFOLD AND HASLEMERE. ONLINE ZOOM AND SIGNAL COUNSELLOR. TELETHERAPY / TELEPHONE COUNSELLING AVAILABLE ON ALL DAYS.
